Quarantine show round up – Selling Sunset

Do you like beautiful homes? Do you like women who are bleached blonde within an inch of their life and pumped full of plastic? (your body, your choice..but not when it comes to a mask) Do you like extremely staged and made up drama? Do you like 30 year old women who are falling into stereotypical high school roles? If the answer to any of these question is yes then run from your bedroom to your living room, log onto your parents Netflix and tune into Selling Sunset. The trashier, more glamorous and less realistic version of Million Dollar Listings. Bought to you by the creator of Laguna Beach (this could be a lie) Selling Sunset features the private and professional lives of the employees of the Oppenheimer Group run by Jason and Josh? Justin? I legit can’t remember the other guys name. But it’s these two brothers suffering from severe Napoleon syndrome who run this super successful real estate brokerage in L.A.

Due to their Napoleon Syndrome they’ve filled their brokerage with the classic combination of “tall leggy blondes” ie. Christine aka, a walking caricature of a person, a wanna be mean girl, she’s really just a life size sex doll, with overfilled lips and horrible bleached extensions. She’s set up as the mean girl but honestly barely scratches the surface as a mean girl.

The hot “foreign girl” – Maya, a gorgeous Israeli girl who is the voice of reason, a husband who is never shown on the show and one of the brunettes. Chrisell, the “small town girl who want’s to be everyones friend” she’s married to the hot guy from “This is Us” and I think they’re divorced now. Her story of a small town Kentucky girl who came to LA to be an actress? or something along those lines. Honestly she’s a little bored and too nice and polished so we can move on. Mary, is pushed 40, just married a 25 year old frenchman who barely speaks English. All the girls are jealous of her because her and short man #1 aka Jason briefly dated and he gives her a ton of listings. Her and Christine used to be friends but there needed to be some drama so they had a falling out because Christine flung some weak ass insult her way and called her a fucking bitch once.

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Davina is honestly boring and has the face of a robot and is thrown in every one in awhile to support whatever ridiculous rant Christine is on. Amanza aka her name should be Amanda because wtf is on a constant merry go round between taking care of her kids and running late to listing appointments and could also be demoted to guest star. There’s one more blond girl and despite currently watching the show I cannot remember her name. She has a voice that could break glass and a personality to match. She’s currently dating some HGTV star, Tarek? and won’t shut up about it, also a huge secondary star.

Honestly 4/10 would recommend, it’s great background noise but not good for anything else.

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BLM – Quarantine – Corona and more

I realize that this lockdown was probably the best time for me to reignite my blog fire, but like many of us I’m sure your coronavirus plans didn’t go well, as planned. Instead of giving you a user friendly breakdown of what happened to me, I’ll link you out to an article that can better explain it (because truly who doesn’t love a good link out)

For those of you who are wondering, I’m Lindsey and yes, that my family and I in the article , but for my friends who don’t like reading, I’ll sum it up.

  • I was told I was going to WFH for two week, flights were $78 one way so I booked a trip to see my parents for 2 weeks and WFH whoohoo!
  • After 6 days of WFH myself along with 400 others were let go
  • Everyone in New York was fucked
  • LOL stay-at-home orders began, I was funemployed so me and my suitcase of 3 t-shirts decided to stay in Florida
  • For the next 3 months I ate, practiced my splits, cut off all the straight hair (yes I’m back to my natural roots), read, learned how to make macaroni & cheese, attended 389 zoom calls, had my first Hennessy slushi, helped my mom decorate the house, mowed my parents lawn twice, saw my grandparents, and watched an astonishing amount of TV (I’m actually embarassed to list out all the shows but a small sampling includes – 90 Days before the 90 Days, Married at First Sight – Charlotte, 90 Days the other way, Upload, Insecure – who hasn’t, Too Hot to Handle, Chefs Table, Singapore Social..and that’s all I’m going to reveal)
  • I drove to DC with my mom
  • Drove to NYC by myself
  • Shit really hit the fan, I protested, went to vigils and all around felt depressed

So now logically I’m going back to the scene of the crime aka Florida in a few days!

Horray for Corona

PS. I started a new job Monday, thanks for all your t’s and p’s

 

The First Day

So if any of you listen to my podcast (which you should) you’d know that we are starting a 30 day challenge.

Listen Here:

I’ve dedicated myself to writing everyday for 30 days, new posts, new content, new photos, NEW EVERYTHING! This is day one and yes this is probably a cop out because I’m just introducing the challenge but alas. It’s a post.

If you’re new here please feel free to scroll through my posts, catch up on my podcast, comment, like, etc.

THANKS FOR JOINING!

 

 

 

Dating Karma

Has anyone every experience Dating Karma? I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about but don’t want to admit it. When you’ve done someone dirty and now you can’t find a man or women?

I know I’m not the only one who’s been through a rough time and wonder WTF IS UP WITH MY LUCK.

Listen up boo, it’s probably karma. Every struggled to get a man to speak to speak to you for more than 3 business days? karma. Had a good man slip through your fingers despite A+ behavior? karma. Your girl can’t stop cheating on you despite you giving her the world? karma. When you ask the Lord to sent you someone good and he does but that person doesn’t make you feel spicy? karma.

I feel your pain…

 

Review: Cuba

Before we get into the photos (and yes there are a lot of them) let me answer a few questions.

Yes,all of the cars are like that, I maybe saw 5 that were modern

No, your cellphone will not work AT ALL

Yes, they like Americans, it’s our government they don’t like (neither do I so it’s cool)

No, you’re fine, I went with my 3 girl cousins and we walked around at night by ourselves

Yes, it’s cheap AF and the food and drinks are delicious, my whole trip was maybe $1k including flights, air bnb, food, activities, taxis (and we ate at the most expensive restaurants)

No, your credit cards will not work AT ALL

Yes, the majority of the people speak Spanish and a little bit of english but really try and know some Spanish before you go, it’ll make your whole trip easier.

No, it’s not hard to enter the country, don’t let the press fool you

Yes, they love Che and do have some issues with Castro (who doesn’t)

No, you shouldn’t judge anything about the country, place or the people until you visit, and not just visit with learn some of the history, talk to the people and really try and have an open mind if you did you might just learn something 🤔

Yes, I went with an open mind and did all of the above and my conclusion? Like always America is the worst 😂

Now for the good stuff.

Review: Sunday Scaries

No matter how much you love your job, your life, your apartment or the dinner you ate the night before at some point in your life you will experience what we lovingly call the Sunday Scaries. This is when the weight of the weekend, the week before and just life in general begin to weigh on your shoulders and you wonder is it all worth it? Should I just cash in my money, move to Atlanta and become a stripper (not to say stripping isn’t difficult because it damn sure well is).

Now don’t get it twisted the Sunday scaries don’t come every weekend, just after a particularly fun weekend, long weekend, one where you’ve done a lot of shit things, the weather is beautiful, the weather is shitty or just randomly! The point is I had them today for the first time in as long as I can remember and it really had me fucked up. I do a lot of self care things, I eat tasty foods, paint my nails all the time, read self help books, watch all the trashy TV I want etc. so when I get down it startles the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to do.

So today I went for a walk, ate ice cream and am making this blog post to help lift my spirits. I hope none of you ever have to go through the Sunday scaries, and if you do I hope you have a laundry list of things you can do to make yourself feel better.

HAPPY SUNDAY BITCHES.

Review: Apple Support

SO I just had to write this review at the tender hour of 10:17pm on a Monday night because I was about ready to flush my iPhone down the toilet until I spoke to the lovely Brent over at Apple (also big shout out to the Scottish/Irish man who helped me on Sunday).

Long story short, I got an iPad in 2013 for Christmas (literally besides my Beats headphones this was the best gift I’d ever gotten). I  used it faithfully and merrily for 3 long and luscious years UNTIL January of 2017 when some fucker managed to hack into my iCloud account, change the primary email address and LOCK ME THE FUCK OUT. For 1 long strenuous year I was unable to use my beloved iPad and because the little ho-bag changed my security questions I couldn’t get in. But that all changed today, my sweet father (shout out to you Terry Washington) trekked his black ass up to Maryland, went to the Best Buy in Wheaton (don’t worry he was already up there for business) got my receipt and NOW after 374 long days of pain and suffering I’ve been reunited with my iPad (First World problems, I know). IN MY DEFENSE, I’ve been flying a lot lately (yes I hear how spoiled I sound with every stroke of the keys) and I just started watching this new Spanish telenovela called Velvet. Anyways, Apple Care was SO GOOD TO ME. So helpful even when I couldn’t fully explain myself, and they’re able to like remotely control your computer so that when you’re an idiot like me they can help you out faster.

The point is, I love Apple Care, fuck Android, Steve Jobs forever (only second to Wakanda)