A Word on….

Trauma.

There are typically two types of trauma we speak of in the therapy world, big T and little t trauma (although people have debates on this language).

When we think of trauma we think of it in two categories (this is a little old school but alas, it’s what we’re taught).

  • Big life events, ie. car crash, a natural disaster, war, an accident, a violent event etc
  • Long term low level stressful happenings; ie. living in poverty and not knowing where your next meal will come from, existing as a minority having racist things said to you, being followed around a store, getting bullied in school and not having any friends.

Both are bad, both affect people, both have long lasting harmful effects. One can be commonly diagnosed as PTSD (what war veterans are typically diagnosed with). When you are diagnosed with PTSD it means that you life, or bodily integrity was threatened. It means that you could’ve died, perhaps you were close to dying or almost died. Additionally it means that your life moving forward has been affected, so maybe you have nightmares about the event, maybe you avoid certain situations that remind you of the event, maybe you were never the same. For example, I was scrolling on instagram the other day and saw this girls profile who survived the White Island Volcano blast – I got lost in a rabbit hole. Its fascinating and I won’t go into it but trust me it’s crazy. Anyways, this girl was on a family vacation, this volcano basically erupted and she got burns on over 75% of her body, her dad and sister died and she had to wear a compression garment for 2 years. She has nightmares, her life will never be the same, flashbacks etc. This girl, has PTSD. Her life was threatening, she is not functioning the same as she used to and it was one major event (rather than many smaller ones). I’m really breaking this down for succinctness and clarity (trust me we spent 2, 3 hour classes talking about this) but I hope everyone gets the point.

CPTSD – so this is a newer thing and honestly we haven’t really covered it in school/it’s not officially in the DSM-V (the holy grail of therapy) but like all things mental health there are always new diagnosis being added and taken away so keep a look out for this one esepcially after COVID. But CPTSD would be classified as a little t trauma – lower level, non-threats to your life, but constant and this is the key. So imagine you go to school and every week the school bully does something to you, pushes you down the stairs, steals your library book, makes fun of your clothes in front of other people (yes these are things that have happened to me) for a year. Then you go to high school and for four years every year don’t get asked to a school dance, when all your friends do, don’t get asked on dates, when everyone else does, get told you’re not beautiful, get made fun of for your hair, your clothes, the way you talk, everything (these are a mix of examples). So you can obviously see how being subject to his kind of stuff for 4-7 years could be harmful and while your life wasn’t threatened you definitely when through some turmoil and there’s no way you weren’t affected. Additionally you might still suffer some of the same side effects of PTSD like:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Isolation
  • Sleep disturbance
  • Might turn to substances to cope
  • Shame/guilt/emotional disregulation

So, I hope you guys get the point, but essentially there are two types of trauma, both are bad, in one type your life is threatened, in the other it’s not. However, it doesn’t discount one or the other and both are issues that therapy can help with!

As always comment if you want more deets or info. I hope you guys like the new content 🙂

Quarantine Show Round-up

Since everybody (including myself) keeps talking about Corona like it’s over I thought I’d provide you with some great quarantine shows to help you pass the time. I know this is a totally original idea and there are no other lists out there so you’re welcome in advance.

First up in Bravo.

So I know this isn’t a TV show but rather a network but I’ll say this you could literally spend an entire 2 month long stay at home order watching Bravo. I’m pretty sure this is what I first did especially because they were re-running all of their classics like NYC Prep and Gallery Girls.

I started off by watching Real Housewives of Atlanta which can we all just agree is probably one of the best/trashiest shows ever? I mean the fact that there was a rumor going around at one point that Kandi – who mind you- doesn’t even drink wanted to drug Porsha and keep her in her basement is hilarious. Especially considering the fact that Porsha looks like a sex doll and has the IQ of one too. Meanwhile Kandi is the only housewife with any actual real money or statues. Anyways that was Season.. I actually don’t know but I think it was the season that Pheadra got kicked off because she’s the one that started the rumor. To be honest I’m surprised Andy made her leave because if there’s one thing I’m sure he likes its drama that brings in viewers. Ok back to my point, the Real Housewives is first on the list because it’s honestly a 10/10 when it comes to Bravo shows, it features an all black cast with the exception of Kim Z on the first few season, the women’s wigs and makeup are CONSTANTLY on point. Like I know the Beverly Hills bitches have money but honestly no cast dresses better than Atlanta, no cast is more relevant than Atlanta and no one has more drama. I mean Phaedra’s husband was locked up for tax evasion? Kenya’s window was kicked in by her fake boyfriend and she married a man with a nose ring a season later. We got to see the full on launch of a fake clothing brand “She by Sheree”, we saw the evolution of Nene’s wig, we watched Kandi find love and we got to see Porsha think that the underground railroad was a real thing. Trust me, if you’re looking for something to fill your time. This is it. Start with Season one and just keep watching. If anything be blessed by the presence of Cynthia Bailey the most beautiful women on earth and Eva Marcille in a close second place.

You’re welcome.

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City Scenes

Back in the city for good post Quarantine in Florida. I haven’t been out much because I’m still scared of getting corona but I have ridden the subway (a little contradictory no?). I only have a few photos but I also have a few words.

I’m feeling glad to be back and oddly hopeful. Despite cutting off a few situations that were no longer serving me I feel happy and light. Overall looking forward to what the rest of the year will bring.

More on BLM now

Please don’t forget that a lot of you guys are 400+ years late to the oppression part so welcome. I will absolutely be posting articles from time to time about this matter but also. Google is free so educate yourselves!

BLM – Quarantine – Corona and more

I realize that this lockdown was probably the best time for me to reignite my blog fire, but like many of us I’m sure your coronavirus plans didn’t go well, as planned. Instead of giving you a user friendly breakdown of what happened to me, I’ll link you out to an article that can better explain it (because truly who doesn’t love a good link out)

For those of you who are wondering, I’m Lindsey and yes, that my family and I in the article , but for my friends who don’t like reading, I’ll sum it up.

  • I was told I was going to WFH for two week, flights were $78 one way so I booked a trip to see my parents for 2 weeks and WFH whoohoo!
  • After 6 days of WFH myself along with 400 others were let go
  • Everyone in New York was fucked
  • LOL stay-at-home orders began, I was funemployed so me and my suitcase of 3 t-shirts decided to stay in Florida
  • For the next 3 months I ate, practiced my splits, cut off all the straight hair (yes I’m back to my natural roots), read, learned how to make macaroni & cheese, attended 389 zoom calls, had my first Hennessy slushi, helped my mom decorate the house, mowed my parents lawn twice, saw my grandparents, and watched an astonishing amount of TV (I’m actually embarassed to list out all the shows but a small sampling includes – 90 Days before the 90 Days, Married at First Sight – Charlotte, 90 Days the other way, Upload, Insecure – who hasn’t, Too Hot to Handle, Chefs Table, Singapore Social..and that’s all I’m going to reveal)
  • I drove to DC with my mom
  • Drove to NYC by myself
  • Shit really hit the fan, I protested, went to vigils and all around felt depressed

So now logically I’m going back to the scene of the crime aka Florida in a few days!

Horray for Corona

PS. I started a new job Monday, thanks for all your t’s and p’s