The 10 Commandements of Airports

No, these are not the same.

After a relaxing hot 5 days in Los Angeles, I have finally returned to this beautiful dirty city I call home. Unfortunately for me I had a red eye flight home, and being the paranoid spaz I am I did not want to miss it and therefore arrived at the airport an unnecessary 2 hours early. While there I compiled this here list of no-no’s.


1.  Wear socks.

I know you wore sandals today and are trying to relax before your flight, but for the love of sanitation PLEASE don’t take off your sandals and put your feet up on the seat. It’s gross, feet are gross, airports are gross, and you’re gross for doing it.

2.  When you’re sleeping don’t take up 5 seats

I know it’s late at night, and you’re trying to stay on your sleep schedule (isn’t that why we’re on the red-eye?) but you are in fact not at home and in an airport, which contrary to your belief is not your home. Keep your socks on Be considerate.

3.  Don’t hog those outlets

Please don’t forget that while your bare feet are propped up on 3 seats to not also take up all the outlets in the Delta lounge. Your iPhone, Ipad, laptop and iTouch do not need to be charged all at the same time. We’re about to be on a 5 hour redeye, you will be sleeping, you need none of those things.

4.  ALSO while your bare footed, seat hogging, outlet snatching ass is catching some well deserved zzzz’s don’t let your   kids run wild.

Watch them, just because your sleeping doesn’t mean they’re not your kids anymore, and remember the airport is not a fun size daycare. TSA agents are there to protect us from crazy people on planes, not to watch your kids.

5. Don’t forget you’re not at home

Yes you may be spending the next two hours at the airport waiting for your flight, but don’t spread your shit around like a college student at the library during finals.

6. Don’t hog the mirrors

Oh Hey! You want to do your makeup, brush your teeth and comb your hair before you leave the airport? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE, we’ve all just been through the same hell. But please, after I use the bathroom, please step aside so I can at least wash my hands

7. Don’t get kicked off the plane

On my flight home, a belligerent lady put her bad under a strangers seat, yelled at the flight attendant when she asked her to move it, the proceeded to  threw something at her. The lady then had the audacity to be surprised appalled when she was asked to get off the flight. Really?

8. Don’t sit right next to me

We have a whole lounge fill of seats and you wanna sit right next to me? I will go to a different gate just to sit by myself and not be near anyone so please, please don’t sit close to me, don’t sit across from me, stay away.

9. Never forget

10. That’s all.


Sometimes, I wish I could be satisfied with an ordinary life

The worst kind of walkers in New York City are the slow ones. Because they have no purpose, they have no destination and no drive. They don’t belong here, everyone and anyone who comes to this city has both,  and they display it at all times.

So the next time you see someone speeding down an NYC sidewalk just remember their rushing to their destiny