A Word on….

Trauma.

There are typically two types of trauma we speak of in the therapy world, big T and little t trauma (although people have debates on this language).

When we think of trauma we think of it in two categories (this is a little old school but alas, it’s what we’re taught).

  • Big life events, ie. car crash, a natural disaster, war, an accident, a violent event etc
  • Long term low level stressful happenings; ie. living in poverty and not knowing where your next meal will come from, existing as a minority having racist things said to you, being followed around a store, getting bullied in school and not having any friends.

Both are bad, both affect people, both have long lasting harmful effects. One can be commonly diagnosed as PTSD (what war veterans are typically diagnosed with). When you are diagnosed with PTSD it means that you life, or bodily integrity was threatened. It means that you could’ve died, perhaps you were close to dying or almost died. Additionally it means that your life moving forward has been affected, so maybe you have nightmares about the event, maybe you avoid certain situations that remind you of the event, maybe you were never the same. For example, I was scrolling on instagram the other day and saw this girls profile who survived the White Island Volcano blast – I got lost in a rabbit hole. Its fascinating and I won’t go into it but trust me it’s crazy. Anyways, this girl was on a family vacation, this volcano basically erupted and she got burns on over 75% of her body, her dad and sister died and she had to wear a compression garment for 2 years. She has nightmares, her life will never be the same, flashbacks etc. This girl, has PTSD. Her life was threatening, she is not functioning the same as she used to and it was one major event (rather than many smaller ones). I’m really breaking this down for succinctness and clarity (trust me we spent 2, 3 hour classes talking about this) but I hope everyone gets the point.

CPTSD – so this is a newer thing and honestly we haven’t really covered it in school/it’s not officially in the DSM-V (the holy grail of therapy) but like all things mental health there are always new diagnosis being added and taken away so keep a look out for this one esepcially after COVID. But CPTSD would be classified as a little t trauma – lower level, non-threats to your life, but constant and this is the key. So imagine you go to school and every week the school bully does something to you, pushes you down the stairs, steals your library book, makes fun of your clothes in front of other people (yes these are things that have happened to me) for a year. Then you go to high school and for four years every year don’t get asked to a school dance, when all your friends do, don’t get asked on dates, when everyone else does, get told you’re not beautiful, get made fun of for your hair, your clothes, the way you talk, everything (these are a mix of examples). So you can obviously see how being subject to his kind of stuff for 4-7 years could be harmful and while your life wasn’t threatened you definitely when through some turmoil and there’s no way you weren’t affected. Additionally you might still suffer some of the same side effects of PTSD like:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Isolation
  • Sleep disturbance
  • Might turn to substances to cope
  • Shame/guilt/emotional disregulation

So, I hope you guys get the point, but essentially there are two types of trauma, both are bad, in one type your life is threatened, in the other it’s not. However, it doesn’t discount one or the other and both are issues that therapy can help with!

As always comment if you want more deets or info. I hope you guys like the new content 🙂

The Update

COVID happened, I lost my job and decided to take a pivot so here I am, 2 years into a 3 year Master of Social Work program, ready to embark on a new career as a therapist.

With that being said the blog will take a pivot, a small one but a pivot nonetheless.

  • Mental Health – in the form of my ramblings, cool things I’ve learned in sessions, class, from my supervisor or my grad school friends
  • Self Care (mostly in the form of images…nothings changed here)
  • Tips & Tricks – small and noticeable things you can do to calm yourself (btw I hate journaling, meditation and working out so these will be real things you can do)
  • And of course, the stories everyone has come to know and love, but with a twist!

I decided to keep the name the same because let’s be real, life is a struggle..and even more so in the past 2 years. I haven’t met a single person who is just thriving, and hasn’t been in some form of survival mode. The domain, shameless tales, because if you haven’t read anything on shame and the surrounding conversations with shame, then take a moment, watching some Brene Brown and sit with it. We should live our lives with less, without shame and aware of how it effects us all.

Anyways

Let’s see how this next adventure goes and thanks for tuning in!

A week in Quarantine – Hamptons Edition

I wonder is it even appropriate to still say quarantine because we’re all definitely not staying at home.

Anyway, I spent the last week in the Hamptons with my friends and it was glorious. We stayed in Amagansett in a 3 bd 2 ba house, complete with pool, wraparound deck and lots and lots of champagne.

Cheers to Summer not being dead.

City Scenes

Back in the city for good post Quarantine in Florida. I haven’t been out much because I’m still scared of getting corona but I have ridden the subway (a little contradictory no?). I only have a few photos but I also have a few words.

I’m feeling glad to be back and oddly hopeful. Despite cutting off a few situations that were no longer serving me I feel happy and light. Overall looking forward to what the rest of the year will bring.

¿¿Dating??

Everyone has 1,001 opinions about dating and how to date. Do we really have a verdict?

  • Go on the apps and try swiping
  • Stay off the apps, everyone on there is not serious
  • Set your mind and intentions to being open and looking
  • Don’t try, you’ll come off as desperate
  • It’ll happen when you least expect (my favorite)
  • Live your life and don’t think about it
  • Keep it top of mind so the “universe” knows

¿Does anyone have any idea what actually works? And can someone send me some assistance. Thanks 😊

29 Rooms

Yes, I slacked. But to make up for it here are some gorgeous photos from 29 Rooms by Refinery 29. I’ve been wanting to come here forever but times and tickets are always sold out. Luckily we got a good time slot and were able to take lots of uninterrupted photos of all the exhibits.

My second time in Paris

This is my second time is Paris. The first go round was not so pleasant. The people were iffy, the food was blah and the weather was just nasty.

This time we spend time in the champagne region, touring champagne cellars, hanging with mutual friends and even saw the sun! Here are some photos.