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Quarantine Show Round-up – What we do in the Shadows

For fans of Twilight (the BOOKS NOT THE FUCKING HORRIBLE ASS MOVIES), Dracula and Let the Right one in (if you know what last one is, dm me @theshadeistooreal) What we do in the Shadows is amazing. Not to give too much away but it’s a documentary style comedy on FX about a group of Vampires who live in Staten Island.

I know that sounds super fucking weird, and it is and that’s what makes it so wonderful. The show centers around Nandor the Relentess, Nadja, Laszlo, Colin Robinson and Guillermo the familiar.

Slight sidenote please look at the transformation for the actor who plays Nandor because he is a fox.

So it’s kind of a hard show to explain but its a mockumentary style show and just follows around their shenanigans. Laszlo and Nadja are in a relationship. Nandor is essentially the oldest and head of the household and despite being a conquerer and being known for slaughtering villages of people he is the sweetest of the bunch. Colin Robinson is an energy vampire aka he sucks the life out of people by being so boring. He’s honestly my least favorite character and at one point it seemed like they were going to kill him off the show and tbh I’m kind of upset that they didn’t. He seems like a very useless character and just in general plays a boring white bald man.

Guillermo is a familiar, which is a human who lives with the vampires who like helps protect them during the day time and runs errands for them and also helps them do normal things like using a computer, running to the drugstore etc. Him and Nandor have the closest relationship even though Nandor can treat him like shit sometimes. Guillermo wants to be a vampire despite having Van Helsing ancestry and is unusually skilled at taking them down. Anyways the show is super weird, the accents that they all have are so fucking funny like I could literally watch this show all day and not get bored, I actually have this issue with shows that are only 30 minutes long because I knock them off so quickly. Like give me a week, I’ll watch two episodes a night and be done in 5 days! It’s pretty annoying. I truly wonder why shows with such huge followings (ie Insecure) with hard core fan bases who demand longer episodes don’t make them longer? Anyways, I’ll be reviewing Insecure sometime soon so stay tuned!

This wasn’t as great as the other reviews, but it’s honestly such a hard show to explain, you guys will just have to watch and learn more.

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Quarantine show round up – 90 Day Fiancé, Before the 90 Days

For those of you who are fans of 90 Day Fiancé aka the show where Americans meet foreigners and have to marry them within 90 days of them arriving on American soil you know that this was TV’s best kept secret. Ever since Big Ed made his debut hoes has been flocking to TLC (which deserves it’s own post for all the quality TV) to watch all the gems. To be clear there is 90 Day Fiancé, Before the 90 Days (thank you Big Ed), 90 Day’s – Happily Ever After and the subject of this post 90 Day’s the other way.

In summation The other way is just that. The opposite of the OG 90 Day. In this case the American’s move overseas or abroad to be with their significant other, either because of Visa issues, personal things or the person just wanted to stay in their home country, remember people, not everyone want’s to come live in America…

Unfortunately there are only 2 seasons of The Other way out right now and it’s a real shame because this shit right here is on another level. The age gaps are astounding, the areas of the world they travel to are truly out of this world and some of the situations they get themselves into are just absolutely insane. I don’t want to get into any spoilers  (spoilers ahead) but you all just really have to watch. Some of the couples to look out for are Jenny and Sumit, Jenny actually was catfished and when she found out about the catfishing proceeded to form a relationship with her catfisher (is that a word?), Paul and Karine  from S1 who are an entire hot ass mess and apparently a fan favorite because they’ve managed to jump from Before the 90 days, to 90 day’s the other way and slither their way into 90 Days Happily ever after. Karine lives in an actual tiki hut off the amazon river in Brazil and Paul, bless his soul, is told by his doctor to put a condom on before traveling so no snakes crawl up his urethra..

Evelin and Corey which is a real trainwreck given the fact that Evelin could not care less about Corey. He legit moves to Ecuador and this is her face when he arrives

Screen Shot 2020-08-09 at 4.34.33 PM I mean ahahahaha.

She also makes it clear that she needs to marry Corey within a month of him getting there but she has no desire to get married at all. Tiffany and Ronald are pretty boring but she does get pregnant pretty soon after arriving to South Africa despite Ronald getting out of AA the day after her arrival then promptly going out and getting shitfaced at his bachelor party. Devean and Jihon are very interesting because she got pregnant the first time she met him and decided to move to Korea to be with him. Like any logical man, Jihoon didn’t save money or get them an apartment because “he didn’t take the relationship seriously because it was long distance” despite the fact that Devean had his whole ass baby and sold everything to move to Korea.

Honey, it’s a mess, it’s real and it’s all on TLC.

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BLM – Quarantine – Corona and more

I realize that this lockdown was probably the best time for me to reignite my blog fire, but like many of us I’m sure your coronavirus plans didn’t go well, as planned. Instead of giving you a user friendly breakdown of what happened to me, I’ll link you out to an article that can better explain it (because truly who doesn’t love a good link out)

For those of you who are wondering, I’m Lindsey and yes, that my family and I in the article , but for my friends who don’t like reading, I’ll sum it up.

  • I was told I was going to WFH for two week, flights were $78 one way so I booked a trip to see my parents for 2 weeks and WFH whoohoo!
  • After 6 days of WFH myself along with 400 others were let go
  • Everyone in New York was fucked
  • LOL stay-at-home orders began, I was funemployed so me and my suitcase of 3 t-shirts decided to stay in Florida
  • For the next 3 months I ate, practiced my splits, cut off all the straight hair (yes I’m back to my natural roots), read, learned how to make macaroni & cheese, attended 389 zoom calls, had my first Hennessy slushi, helped my mom decorate the house, mowed my parents lawn twice, saw my grandparents, and watched an astonishing amount of TV (I’m actually embarassed to list out all the shows but a small sampling includes – 90 Days before the 90 Days, Married at First Sight – Charlotte, 90 Days the other way, Upload, Insecure – who hasn’t, Too Hot to Handle, Chefs Table, Singapore Social..and that’s all I’m going to reveal)
  • I drove to DC with my mom
  • Drove to NYC by myself
  • Shit really hit the fan, I protested, went to vigils and all around felt depressed

So now logically I’m going back to the scene of the crime aka Florida in a few days!

Horray for Corona

PS. I started a new job Monday, thanks for all your t’s and p’s

 

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Convos

The issue with the gray area is that people often speak when they’re not moved to speak or aren’t exactly sure what they want. When you’re just hooking up with someone why are you texting them?

Do you want to hang out with them? Do you want to sleep with them? Do you just want attention? Do you want a friend?

Speak when you feel moved to speak and be firm and clear in what you want and communicate it.

The difficult thing about when you start seeing someone is that the moment you sleep with them you begin to have expectations and the more you think and talk about it the more they pile on.

If you sleep with someone the assumption is that they must like you in some way, be attracted to something about you – personality, looks, etc. When you like someone and are attracted to them you want to be around them and spend time with them. The more time you spend with someone the better you get to know them – you want to introduce them to your friends, family, bring them around more often. You want them to prioritize you. What do you do with your friends you like the most? You prioritize them, you carve out time in your schedule to text them, to talk to them on the phone hang out with them, maybe dinner or lunch do activities etc. And before you know it they’re your best friend. You guys take trips together, they know all your secrets and they become apart of your life.

This is what happens with men or women when we are in the gray area and when you add sex. Everything goes out the window.

My suggestion and something I’ve started doing – take time for yourself. Just for your and that person. Keep your shit private and don’t share your moves with everyone. One voice can become a thousand and everybody’s opinion isn’t always necessary or needed. And the bottom line is, a lot of people don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about 🤷🏾‍♀️

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Review: Sunday Scaries

No matter how much you love your job, your life, your apartment or the dinner you ate the night before at some point in your life you will experience what we lovingly call the Sunday Scaries. This is when the weight of the weekend, the week before and just life in general begin to weigh on your shoulders and you wonder is it all worth it? Should I just cash in my money, move to Atlanta and become a stripper (not to say stripping isn’t difficult because it damn sure well is).

Now don’t get it twisted the Sunday scaries don’t come every weekend, just after a particularly fun weekend, long weekend, one where you’ve done a lot of shit things, the weather is beautiful, the weather is shitty or just randomly! The point is I had them today for the first time in as long as I can remember and it really had me fucked up. I do a lot of self care things, I eat tasty foods, paint my nails all the time, read self help books, watch all the trashy TV I want etc. so when I get down it startles the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to do.

So today I went for a walk, ate ice cream and am making this blog post to help lift my spirits. I hope none of you ever have to go through the Sunday scaries, and if you do I hope you have a laundry list of things you can do to make yourself feel better.

HAPPY SUNDAY BITCHES.

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Review: Apple Support

SO I just had to write this review at the tender hour of 10:17pm on a Monday night because I was about ready to flush my iPhone down the toilet until I spoke to the lovely Brent over at Apple (also big shout out to the Scottish/Irish man who helped me on Sunday).

Long story short, I got an iPad in 2013 for Christmas (literally besides my Beats headphones this was the best gift I’d ever gotten). I  used it faithfully and merrily for 3 long and luscious years UNTIL January of 2017 when some fucker managed to hack into my iCloud account, change the primary email address and LOCK ME THE FUCK OUT. For 1 long strenuous year I was unable to use my beloved iPad and because the little ho-bag changed my security questions I couldn’t get in. But that all changed today, my sweet father (shout out to you Terry Washington) trekked his black ass up to Maryland, went to the Best Buy in Wheaton (don’t worry he was already up there for business) got my receipt and NOW after 374 long days of pain and suffering I’ve been reunited with my iPad (First World problems, I know). IN MY DEFENSE, I’ve been flying a lot lately (yes I hear how spoiled I sound with every stroke of the keys) and I just started watching this new Spanish telenovela called Velvet. Anyways, Apple Care was SO GOOD TO ME. So helpful even when I couldn’t fully explain myself, and they’re able to like remotely control your computer so that when you’re an idiot like me they can help you out faster.

The point is, I love Apple Care, fuck Android, Steve Jobs forever (only second to Wakanda)

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Review: Saving money

So I’m trying to be a grown up, and put away a little money for savings, for some traveling, buying a house a new bag, a Cartier ring, normal things — but it’s hard.

Living in a city is full of temptation, I want to go to brunch, I want to buy expensive sushi for lunch, take ubers everywhere and just generally be a bougie lady but alas, I need to be a savings Susie.

It’s hard when Beyonce is coming out with concert tickets, and headlining Coachella, Revolve has a new sale every day,  and there’s a new noodle restaurant opening down the street from me but sacrifices must be made. Since the invention of credit cards (way before I was born) I’ve struggled to not justify buying something I normally can’t afford and just make little itty bitty baby payments on it every month, which is why I’ve now found myself with an amazing 4 credit cards with a combined limit of well over $100,000 (thank you American Express). Swiping that amazing piece of plastic and watching those rewards (or free money as I like to look at it) build up is a feeling that cannot be beat.

Plus, my dad always said, good credit is super important so why wouldn’t I want to keep building it up?

On a serious note, saving money and being frugal sucks, but I’m sure one day when I’ve finally purchased my home in the south of Spain and I’m wearing 5 Cartier bracelets it’ll all be worth it.

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Dear White People

Dear White People;

When you wear baggy jeans, sneakers and oversized jackets remember where that came from.

When you wear chains, large jewelry and sag your pants, remember where that came from.

When you have long nails,  nail art and hoop earrings and remember where that came from.

When you look at fashion and style today, just please remember where it came from and remember how you used to (and continue to) treat us and fucking remember where all your cool shit came from.