The issue with the gray area is that people often speak when they’re not moved to speak or aren’t exactly sure what they want. When you’re just hooking up with someone why are you texting them?

Do you want to hang out with them? Do you want to sleep with them? Do you just want attention? Do you want a friend?

Speak when you feel moved to speak and be firm and clear in what you want and communicate it.

The difficult thing about when you start seeing someone is that the moment you sleep with them you begin to have expectations and the more you think and talk about it the more they pile on.

If you sleep with someone the assumption is that they must like you in some way, be attracted to something about you – personality, looks, etc. When you like someone and are attracted to them you want to be around them and spend time with them. The more time you spend with someone the better you get to know them – you want to introduce them to your friends, family, bring them around more often. You want them to prioritize you. What do you do with your friends you like the most? You prioritize them, you carve out time in your schedule to text them, to talk to them on the phone hang out with them, maybe dinner or lunch do activities etc. And before you know it they’re your best friend. You guys take trips together, they know all your secrets and they become apart of your life.

This is what happens with men or women when we are in the gray area and when you add sex. Everything goes out the window.

My suggestion and something I’ve started doing – take time for yourself. Just for your and that person. Keep your shit private and don’t share your moves with everyone. One voice can become a thousand and everybody’s opinion isn’t always necessary or needed. And the bottom line is, a lot of people don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about 🤷🏾‍♀️