When a trap song comes on and all you wanna do is climb up a pole and drop it down low, but then you realize you have neither a pole nor the ass to drop it low. #skinnyblackgirlproblems #nomatterwhatIdoitwontgrow #whereismypole

 

Things Shady New Yorkers (Me) Do

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the rudest of them all. This is how my morning went:

 

When you have a seat on the bus and an old person walks on, and someone across from you has their purse on the seat, but doesn’t make any moves to move it:

 

When it’s finally time to get off the train and the old women with the walk makes a move to get up:

 

When you see a homeless person sitting and waiting for the subway and no stench fills your nostrils as you approach them:

Then you walk past them and realize the stench was all downwind:

Then the train comes and just when you think it couldn’t get any worse it does:

 

When you’re on the train and someone starts singing or performing and you’re like

JK, just looking to turn up the volume on my phone

Then your stop comes and you’re like

 

and people are walking around gingerly on the street because it’s raining and they don’t want to get wet

 

BUT YOU WORE RAINBOOTS AND DON’T GIVE AF

And now you’re at work like

Because you’re dry, rested and had a peaceful commute.