Missing teeth

My recruiter who finds me temp work is missing a tooth.

Correction several teeth. Please tell me how I, a college educated, internship holding, all teeth having person does not have a job but this man who is missing TEETH, MULTIPLE TEETH HAS A JOB WITH A SALARY AND BENEFITS.

It’s upsetting.

Problems with Fairy Tales

Did sleeping beauty ever get her toenails cut? or did they grow forever? Did someone ever tend to her bedpan or was she constantly shitting herself, also how did she not become emaciated? I’m sure they didn’t have feeding tubes in fairy tales.

And my God bless the Prince who kissed her because I’m sure her breath was terrible.

Review: Laziness

Laziness: is a disinclination to activity or exertion despite having the ability to do so.

Laziness: When your bedside light is on, and you don’t have the energy to turn it off, so you sleep with it on.

Laziness: Unwilling to work or use energy.

Laziness: Not wanting to do laundry, and wearing bathing suit bottoms instead.

Laziness: Not liking to work hard or be active.

Laziness: Sitting under a comforter and being too hot to take it off, so instead sticking your foot out underneath to cool down

Why you don’t start your night at 2:30 a.m.

Being the introvert I am, it’s sometimes hard for me to get out. Be social, meet new people, so on and so forth. However one fateful night the stars aligned and my roommates and I decided to venture out into the frigid New York night.

We began our night at our apartment – drinking, laughing, and dancing to our teeny iPod speakers. I was hopeful as the clocked ticked closer to midnight.

“Maybe we won’t go out?, perhaps we’ll just stay here and drink all night, maybe someone will get too drunk and need to be taken care of?, I’ll volunteer, maybe I’ll be that drunk person”

These were all thoughts that ran through my head, it would be, in short, a dream come true. As I began to drink faster, my plan backfired and I was running to pee every 15 minutes.

Plan b. I suggested we go out somewhere near by, somewhere we could walk to or even just a few subway stops away – that was a success. It was now almost one and we make the trek to the lounge. Let me just pause to say a word about lounges, they are my jam. A place to sit, drink, dance (if you wish) and fellowship, a great place for the perfect mellow night. It’s basically like being at home with 50-80 of your closest friends. Plenty of space to put my coat, room to dance and no line at the bathroom, my ideal ladies evening.

We had been there for about an hour and I was tired, ready to hit up the nearest McDonald’s and call it a night, my roommates; however, had a different plan. They felt as if the night was waaaaaaay too mellow to be called an evening out, as alas I found myself in a cab further uptown and away from the bed.

The second we stepped out of the cab I knew we had made a mistake, while I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what was to become part 2 of my evening, my roommates were running to the bar and aggressively drinking. While they were chatting up old friends, I was looking for a place to put my coat, and by the time they were on beer #2 I was ready to go. The main and most obvious problem about this evening is that we (they) were trying to play catch up. While I was rocking a light buzz it seemed as if everyone was rolling their faces off, I figured the bouncer must have been handing out ecstasy to all the patrons he deemed to be too sober and since we didn’t arrive until 2:30 IN THE MORNING….we’d missed the handout.

A WORD TO THE WISE – if you plan on starting your night at 2:30 a.m. byod (bring your own drugs), an iv for vodka infusions or just stay home.