There comes a time in everyone’s life when they are embarrassed and humiliated beyond belief, this was one of those times, and this is the story.
I found myself in an all too familiar situation, standing alone at a party with people I’ve never seen or met before, drinking away my sorrows.
Luckily for me at this particular party I knew at least 3 people, and in turn was content. As we were yapping away, playing flip cup and #winning we suddenly had an urge to leave the party and embark on a 20-hour dance marathon at the bar. Thankfully everyone was down to dance and we promptly left, but not before downing our drinks [bad idea]. As we stumbled out of the party and into the crisp air we started rambling on and recounting the nights events to realize that the love of my life was walking along side of us heading in the same direction. Suddenly my very cloudy thinking became clear, this was it, we were finally going to look into each others eyes, fall in love, link arms and skip off into the Bronx sunset.
This unfortunately is not what happened.
Just as I was going of on a tangent about all the food we were going to consume later that night, my lovely roommate gave me a friendly pinch to warn me of his presence. I immediately whipped my head around and quickly positioned myself snuggly by his side managing to ask ‘heh wher areyou goin where goin to the barsz?, lets walk toghetier! Safety fist!’ Being the sexy gentlemen he is, he obliged and we begun the trek. My roommate being the fantastic person/friend/wing women she is introduced us and to my surprise he already knew who I was. At that moment I lost all sense of who I was, he knew me, and I knew him, we were obviously meant to be and by this time tomorrow we would be eating spaghetti in Little Italy Lady and the Tramp style. Walking down the mean streets of the Bronx, avoiding crack heads together. No longer would I have to worry about old men telling me to smile, because I would always be happy and we would be together. Once I had convinced that he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend I was completely enthralled, lost in a world of love and passion and that’s when it hit me, or rather I hit it. A dumpster, I ran into a dumpster. And when I say I ran into a dumpster I mean I literally walked onto a pile of black trash bags and slammed my face into a Bronx dumpster.
The only time I’ve been more embarrassed was….oh that’s right never. That’s literally the worst and most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me.
After I practically made out with the dumpster I looked over into the eyes of the love of my life and expected to find disgust or a smile, but no I only found a look of pure concern on his face. After reassuring him that I was ok I needed a second to collect my dignity and clean myself up. For some reason in my alcohol infused state I thought things were still going someplace so I put on my game face and gracefully stumbled over to see where him and his posse where going next ‘hey soehats up? What aer youguy s doing?’ Turns out they were going to a party and we were invited.
This story has gone on for long enough and I won’t bore you with the sad tale of how we didn’t make it to the party because we were too drunk to get ourselves together. and how we still aren’t dating but the moral of the story here is to not walk and talk to your crush at the same time, because you will humiliate yourself by running into a dumpster.